New Jersey Fun Facts (#1)

For those of you who will be driving in New Jersey next weekend, this is very important information:

In New Jersey, it is illegal to pump your own gas.

That's right, there is not a single self-service gas station in the entire state of New Jersey. For those of you who grew up anywhere else in the world, this may seem unreal. But it's not. I didn't learn how to pump gas until I was 20 and living in Iowa. Most, if not all of my family--with the exception of the Iowa branch, of course--don't know how to pump gas.

"Why!?" You might be saying, "What could possibly lead to the legislation against pumping your own gas? Is it even constitutional to be denied the right to do things for yourself?" Some of you might even be outraged to the point of, "These are the beginnings of communism!"

The story I'd always heard was about unemployment. Someone, everyone, said that sometime in the seventies unemployment peaked in New Jersey, and our ever watchful state government came up with a plan to create jobs. "Let's make it illegal to pump your own gas," they said, "And force gasoline stations hire attendants. That will create hundreds, if not thousands of jobs!" And what I've always heard was, "Maybe that was a good idea then, to help the people get by during hard economic times, but now we've created a career option that doesn't leave much room for growth." My band director always used to tell us, "Don't drop out of school because you'll end up pumping gas." In New Jersey, pumping gas tops flipping burgers on the list of jobs-teachers-threaten-students-with-when-telling-them-to-stay-in-school.

The internet, which is the answer to all of life's problems, offered some different explanations:

It seems that once upon a time, pumping your own gas was dangerous, so the law was passed to protect the people. Oregon apparently shares this view, and with reason: Zoolander's fashion buddies died in a horrible self-pumping gasoline accident. And there have been no such accidents reported in New Jersey (or Oregon) since the enacting of the law.

Most articles I could find cited the "danger" factor as the reason for the law. Some added a note about the American Disabilities Act, while others did briefly touch on the unemployment issue. But none cited it as the main reason.

In my searching, I did find an article from May 2006 where the governor proposed installing some "test self-service stations" along the NJ turnpike. As you can see from the article, the people of New Jersey threw the biggest hissy fit against a government since the Boston Tea Party. In less than a week, it says, the governor withdrew his proposal.

So whatever the reason, the people of New Jersey do not and will not pump their gas. And while you're here, you shouldn't either because it's the law. When you pull up to the station, greet the attendant warmly and thank him for his willingness to serve.