Courtney Martin's TED Talk

I read this article in Slate recently and my thoughts drifted back to Courtney Martin, whose TED Talk I've listened to four or five times since last September.  See, when I read that Beyonce says, "I think I am a feminist, in a way. It's not something I consciously decided I was going to be...," I think I can relate.  Part of me wonders if I am feminist through osmosis, growing up female in America--in New Jersey under Christie Todd Whitman, Governor--and as a member of Generation Y.  A part of me wonders if that's the only reason because, after all, I also grew up with less subtle influences: I am Christian, Latin American, foreign-born.  These are historically less-than-"feminist" positions, and even now heritages I still cling to.  But the truth is that the juxtaposition of all these worldviews has lead to greater wrestling in me, the "rejecting of the past and promptly reclaiming it" that Courtney Martin talks about.  And after so much wrestling, I must admit, I am a feminist.

I told a friend recently, "I didn't marry Michael in order to keep his house and raise his children"--though I would gladly do so--"I married Michael because I believed that we could do more good together than we could each do on our own."  This isn't the kind of feminism we learned about in high school, the kind that perpetuates the burning bras, the kind that unsexes women.  Nor is it Beyonce's brand, a celebrity-inspired feminism, stumbled onto because there are little other options for women of her notoriety.  My feminism probably isn't Courtney Martin's feminism, either, not in the details.  But I do love what she says at the end of her talk when she says, "My mom and so many women like her have taught me that life is not about glory, or certainty, or security even.  It's about embracing the paradox.  It's about acting in the face of overwhelm.  And it's about loving people really well."

Here are some of my favorite moments from her TED Talk (I do hope you'll listen to it!):

The first paradox is that growing up is about rejecting the past and then promptly reclaiming it...my feminism is very indebted to my mom's, but it looks very different.

The second paradox [is] sobering up about our smallness and maintaining faith in our greatness all at once.  Many in my generation--because of well-intentioned parenting and self-esteem education--were socialized to believe that we were special little snowflakes who were going to go out and save the world...We walk across graduation stages, high on our overblown expectations, and when we float back down to earth, we realize we don't know what the heck it means to actually save the world anyway.  The mainstream media often paints my generation as apathetic, and I think it's much more accurate to say we are deeply overwhelmed...

[My mom] said, "I will not stand for your desperation."  She said, "You are smarter, more creative and more resilient than that."

The third [is] growing up is about aiming to succeed wildly and being fulfilled by failing really well.  Parker Palmer writes that many of us are often whiplashed "between arrogant overestimation of ourselves and a servile underestimation of ourselves."  I learned that...I can't judge [people] based on their failure to meet their very lofty goals.  Many are working in deeply intractable systems...but what they managed to do within those systems was be a humanizing force...what could possibly be more important than that?

Cornel West says, "Of course it's a failure.  But how good a failure is it?"

This isn't to say we give up our wildest, biggest dreams.  It's to say we operate on two levels.  On one, we really go after changing these broken system of which we find ourselves a part.  But on the other, we root our self-esteem in the daily acts of trying to make one person's day more kind, more just, etc.

[My mom] was talking...[doing] all these acts of care and creativity...and surely, at three and four years old, I was listening to the soothing sound of her voice, but I think I was also getting my first lesson in activist work.  The activists I interviewed had nothing in common except for one thing, which was that they all cited their mothers as their most looming and important activist influences.

My mom and so many women like her have taught me that life is not about glory, or certainty, or security even.  It's about embracing the paradox.  It's about acting in the face of overwhelm.  And it's about loving people really well.  And at the end of the day, these things make for a lifetime of challenge and reward.

Classic Rock

Classic Rock is where my love of rock in all its forms comes from. I've been thinking of a list of songs that best represent Classic Rock and here it is. Not all of these are my favorite song from said group but I think all of them are a great way to introduce someone to Classic Rock. Do you agree with this list? What would you add or subtract? What would be on your list?

"Dream On" by Aerosmith on Aerosmith, 1973

"Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin on IV, 1971

"Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas on Leftoverture, 1976

"Shooting Star" by Bad Company on Straight Shooter, 1975

"I've Seen All Good People" by Yes on The Yes Album, 1971

"Life's Been Good" by Joe Walsh on But Seriously, Folks..., 1978

"Hey You" by Pink Floyd on The Wall, 1979

"Hotel California" by The Eagles on Hotel California, 1977

"Sunshine of Your Love" by Cream on Disreali Gears, 1967

"Free Bird" by Lyndyrd Skynyrd on (pronounced leh-nerd skin-nerd), 1973

"More Than a Feeling" by Boston on Boston, 1976

"American Woman" by The Guess Who on American Woman, 1970

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen on A Night at the Opera, 1975

"Hey Jude" by The Beatles, (Released only as a single and later on the compilation vinyl titled Hey Jude) 1968

"The Logical Song" by Supertramp on Breakfast in America, 1979

"Break on Through (to the Other Side)" by The Doors on The Doors, 1967

"Horse With No Name" by America on America, 1971

"Good Vibrations" by The Beach Boys on Smiley Smile, 1966

"Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones on Let it Bleed, 1969

"Back in Black" by AC/DC on Back in Black, 1980

Great Music Intended to be Enjoyed by the Masses

Here's some songs that I love right now:

This Too Shall Pass by OK Go

Kids by MGMT

Uprising by Muse

Michael's in the Air Right Now

Or taking off or landing. He's coming home, but it's a several plane-changes affair. By my calculations, he hasn't quite crossed the border yet. That boy is coming back to America and albeit we still won't be in the same time zone, at least he won't be waking up when I'm going to bed or vice-versa. I couldn't have done this for all of the last year. Transatlanticism (transpacificism?) sucks. Transprovincialism (transstatalism?) is hard enough.

Anyway, I'm like the Jack's Mannequin song, counting down the hours and the minutes that he is not here. So pilot keep it steady, because every inch of me is bruised.

mewithoutYou

On my first day here in this country, my roommate for the next year and a half and who I had just met the night before, gave me his ear buds (maybe it was just one so that he could listen too) to his discman and what I heard for the next few minutes was interesting.  I can't say that I liked it but it was definitely interesting.  What I heard that day was the song "Silencer" from the album A-->B: Life by mewithoutYou.  

A few months later, my roommate (who turns out to be a huge fan of this unique group) downloaded their new album Catch for Us the Foxes.  Songs like "January 1979", "My Exit, Unfair", "Four Word Letter Pt. 2", and "Torches Together" had me hooked.  In no time I was in love with the whole album and a fan of mewithoutYou.

I loved how the lyrics were beautifully poetic and brutally honest.  I loved how the music was artistically creative.  Maybe there are people that, when they give mewithoutYou a listen, all they hear is hard music and shouting.  But when I listen to them, I hear a group of young men who are making something artistic.

In late 2006, my old roommate, who had been back in America for a year, came back for a visit and when he came he gave me the new album, Brother, Sister.  I immediately loved the song "A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains".  Over time the rest of the album grew on me and some of my favorites are "Messes of Men", "C-Minor", "O, Porcupine" and "In a Sweater Poorly Knit".  

I write this to say thank you to mewithoutYou for making great music.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apvKxyR6Vzs